A guide to Christmas – Big Boys Style
This is a guide to Christmas you may or may not want to follow…
Christmas day can be tricky, so here at the Big Boys Club, we thought we may help out with a few Do’s and Don’ts, for getting you through Christmas Day – a guide to Christmas.
1. Do be sure to bring Tupperware. This is a covert operation but the plan is to fill these up at the end of the day. The idea is you don’t want to be cooking at home until the new year!
2. Don’t wear offensive clothing. It’s Christmas dammit! No matter how relaxed the shindig you’re going to be, Christmas photos never look good where one jerk is wearing a t-shirt saying, “I fucked your mum”.
3. Do bring a cricket bat and plenty of balls. Find yourself in a crappy conversation, get a game of cricket happening, that way you can aim for the head of you most dreaded relo.
4. Don’t get so drunk to the point you’re throwing up in the backyard. Pace yourself so you don’t want to get too plastered and forget the Tupperware
5. Do wear a Santa hat. That way, regardless of what you do, you can use the excuse it was in the spirit of Christmas and point to the Santa hat on your head.
6. Don’t bring the girl you’ve been on a couple dates with or met at the bar the other night along. Really, to even consider this is fucking stupid! It’s just another present you’re going to have to buy!
7. Bring spare gifts. There is always a random straggler at every Christmas party. Someone who has nowhere else to go. There is a slight chance that straggler, could end up being a babe. What better way to get on her good list?
8. Most important of all, is mistletoe! You never know what honeys might be at the big day. Always be prepared, always roll like a Big Boy.
Now all of you guys have a safe and merry christmas from all of us here at the Big Boys Club.