Bobby Bigness’ Weekend Survival Guide


Ahoy me sea going swashbucklers, Capitan Bobby Bigness here with a little bit of history;

that if executed according to legend may get you a king’s ransom in lassie booty.

The story goes that during the second world war a group of American sailors stationed in Townsville came up with an ingenious scam designed to hoodwink our fair Aussie maidens out of there knickerbockers and straight in to Uncle Sam’s sleeping chamber.

What the crafty Yanks would do was before hitting the town, pool all of their booty in to the one purse. When they arrived at the tavern they would take it in turns to go to the bar and purchase their flagons but not before carefully choosing a doe eyed bunny to take home for dinner.

After ordering their mead they would make sure the young Aussie got an eyeful of the Sailors communal spunk overflowing out of the wallet in question. Now to the humble lass’s of Townsville this proved irresistible, and to the Yankee sailors a real leg opener! They would repeat the process until all the confederate states were liberated.

So if you don’t want to be the son of a scurvy ridden biscuit eater. Take a leaf out of Colonel Sanders Book and put all ya Johnny Cash in the one bucket this weekend.

“They reckon when it’s your turn to hold the loot you will feel two inches longer.”

 

Bobby Bigness

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